Stop the Sexist Insanity

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Stop the Sexist Insanity

There are so many things wrong with this piece from Forbes that I don't know where to begin, although the title is a good place to start.
"Don't Marry Career Women".

The list contains things like your house is more likely to be dirty and if she makes more money than you both of you will be miserable-- it's the most antiquated, sexist piece of crap I've read in a very long time, especially in a mainstream publication like Forbes.

The clear message to all the fellas-- since no women read Forbes-- is to make sure you get yourself a woman who will clean your house, give birth to lots of babies and doesn't have any dreams or aspirations of her own, because that is the secret to a happy marriage. The message to women-- not that any of them read Forbes-- is don't have any career or eduational aspirations because you'll either never get married or you'll have a bad marriage and a husband who hates you. Oh, my favorite statistic they trot out is that women with graduate degrees are more likely to cheat on their husbands than women who have high school diplomas, especially if the woman has a higher degree than her husband. (So watch out for brainy women, they're dirty sluts!)

What probably bugs me the most about it isn't even what it says about women-- aim low, don't go to school, don't dare to dream if you want to marry-- it's what it implies about men. According to Forbes, all (affluent, Forbes-reading) men should and do want the same thing-- a "good" marriage consisting of a subserviant, uneducated stay-at-home wife and mother who never challenges the authority of her husband, who lives to meet his needs above her own. Sorry, but what about having a wife that is an equal partner? A wife with ideas of her own? What about striving for a marriage where two people grow and support one another? Whatever happened to people in a marriage being best friends?

Does having a marriage between equals make marriage more complicated? Certainly, because more than one person's dreams and ideas have to be considered when making decisions and plans. This can create tensions and hardships that wouldn't otherwise be there if one person is the "king" and the other is merely one of their subjects. Is that inherently a bad thing? Absolutely not. People in a marriage can be equals who are mutually supportive of one another-- regardless of who wants to work in a boardroom or at home-- and that is a good thing.

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