Armstrong Williams' Struggle for Freshness

Friday, April 29, 2005

Armstrong Williams' Struggle for Freshness

Every six months of so, that man really delivers a ridiculous new gem. And I kind of love him for it. This time, Wonkette's Greg Beato points out the "carnally dormant" pundit's recent idiocy. In his latest column, Williams writes, "One of the greatest challenges in my life is the struggle to abstain from premarital sex. It is not easy." Beato continues:
To overcome his powerful natural urges, the 46-year-old Williams calls upon equally powerful imagery: "In case anyone missed the point, [Rev. Donald D. Robinson, former Director of the D.C. Mayor's office on religious affairs,] took a pack of gum from his pocket and gave everyone in the front row a stick. About 25 minutes later, he returned to the topic of the gum. When participants remarked that the flavor is fading, Robinson offered to share his stick. Before they could respond, he plucked the gooey wad from his mouth and held it out like precious offering. The would-be recipients lurched back in disgust. The point, explains Robinson: 'If you are prematurely sexually active, by the time you have become married, you're like a chewed up piece of gum -- all of your flavor, freshness and sweetness is gone.'" At right, a photo of Armstrong Williams practicing his sweet, fresh, and flavorful look.

Williams' column is simply titled, "Sex." It made me kind of sad. But then I remembered that the gay-baiting, Strom Thurmond-loving pundit had settled a nasty sexual harassment claim from a former male employee in the late 90s. Luckily the Blue Lemur remembers this too. Now I hope he just keeps embarrassing himself.

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