Who Says Conservatives Aren't Funny?

Friday, November 10, 2006

Who Says Conservatives Aren't Funny?

Well, at least my buddy Dick Viguerie is. He just sent me this amusing email. (If you want a copy for yourself, just email me.)
Nancy Pelosi says thank-you to…

10. To Vice President Cheney, Bill Kristol, and their cell of “neo-conservatives,” for turning the Republicans into a Trotskyite party—just what Americans have always wanted.

9. To Rush Limbaugh, for his display of “compassionate conservatism” toward Michael J. Fox a week before the election.

8. To outgoing House Speaker Dennis Hastert (R-Illinois), for transforming a personal scandal involving Rep. Tom Foley into a GOP scandal.

7. To Sen. Ted Stevens (R-Alaska) and Rep. Don Young (R-Alaska), for creating an engineering marvel worthy of the Roman Empire—their beloved Bridge to Nowhere.

6. To Ken Mehlman, Chairman of the Republican National Committee, for taking conservative issues off the agenda, except for his direct mail fundraising letters.

5. To former House Majority Leader Tom DeLay (R-Texas), for paring every wasteful dollar out of the federal budget, thus creating a nasty image of the Republicans as the party of Uncle Scrooge.

4. To Karl Rove, for not reading Conservatives Betrayed, which would have awakened him to the dangers of making real conservatives unhappy. [Ha-ha, Dick, that's your book!]

3. To “Brownie” (former FEMA director Michael Brown), for doing such a heck of a job during Katrina, letting Americans see how prepared the Bush Administration was for a scheduled natural terrorist attack.

2. To Jack Abramoff, philanthropist, for his unlimited generosity toward his Republican friends.


1. To President Bush and Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld, for keeping their divorce a secret until the election was over.
Even if you don't think you know Dick, you do know Dick, he's otherwise known as the Big Daddy of Direct Mail and one of the Right's earliest communication strategists.

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