Big mistake. I thought I asked everyone to keep me away from the television tonight.
But the Europeans are showing surprisingly good taste in the voting. It's a little past the halfway point (each of the 36(?) voting countries reports one by one, and each doles out points to its top 10 choices). Lordi has a sizable lead. The sarcastic Lithuanians are in fourth place. In fact, no one would have a chance of catching Lordi if it weren't for the fact that all of the ex-Soviet republics give their top votes to Russia.
Regional back-scratching really distorts the voting. For instance, that buxom Ukrainian chick I mentioned the other day? The singer from FYR Macedonia has much better breasts, and excellent legs as well. Nonetheless, Ukraine is doing better in the voting thanks to post-Soviet solidarity. As long as I'm on the subject, the American hostess is really an embarrassment. The BBC commentator, Terry Wogan, loves the fact that whenever she comes on, she refers to whatever has happened immediately before as "amazing." But of course she's an airhead; that's part of the job description, and her European male counterpart shows no greater signs of intelligence. But where the Americaness really lets her country down is in the bust. She's wearing a dress split very, very low, and I've got to say her breasts just aren't in the same league as the pair from Ukraine, let alone the Macedonian talent. Really, the Europeans are going to think our standards are slipping.
But that's not the important thing. I'm selling my possessions, buying a VW bus, and going on the road to follow Lordi's next tour.