Grandma Never Looked Happier

Friday, January 27, 2006

Grandma Never Looked Happier

Today, it's a news story on the website of The Onion, but who knows? Ten or fifteen years from now, we could be reading this on the website of MSNBC:
With pension funds dwindling as retirees enjoy longer, more capable lives, many businesses have opted to freeze their workers' employment status and keep them on the job through their sunset years.

"Under the new approach, our employees gain the advantage of lifelong job security," Hewlett-Packard CEO and president Mark Hurd said. "Even though our workers will no longer be able to collect a pension, they will receive checks as long as they are able to be wheeled into work and punch the clock."

Hewlett-Packard, Verizon, and IBM are just a few of the Fortune 500 companies that are phasing out the retirement option in favor of "indefinite-employment" plans, under which thousands of qualified workers will continue to earn yearly stipends in exchange for work.
Office chit-chat will never be the same .... "Hey, Ed, how come your colostomy bag doesn't stink as much as mine?"

Hats off to the ownership society.

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