Now the frightened, repressed ignoramuses are back, and it's pretty clear that it was my daughters, not my son, they've been after all along. Sen. Tom Coburn (Frightening Wacko-Okla.) and Rep. Todd Akin (Santorum Wannabe-Mo.) have introduced the Parent's Right to Know Act of 2005, which would prohibit federally funded clinics from providing contraceptives to minors without five business days' advance notice to the parents.
Why do we parents need this law? Here's Coburn's explanation:
This bill does nothing but put parents back in charge of their adolescent daughters.There you have it. Boys, of course, have nothing to do with sex and contraception; it's girls Senator Coburn has in mind.
More to the point, his bill assures me that when my daughters hit adolescence, I'll be "in charge" of them. Thank God for men like Tom Coburn, making sure that females' sexuality remains firmly under the control of anyone other than the females themselves.
Don't do me any favors, senator.
A prediction: This bill will pass. In 2010, Tom Coburn, running for reelection, will cite a rise in the number of teenagers having abortions as a sign of the moral breakdown of America. He will do so without any sense of irony.