Demagogue

Yet more evidence that having sex in any fashion other than the way God intended it can lead to dire consequences--and that Massachusetts is a den of iniquity (in fact, this wicked act occured in Salem, which means the evil female was probably one of Satan's minions). Even normal sex (i.e., man-on-woman, with the male organ occupying the correct orifice) can cause problems if it isn't literally man-on-woman.

So, repent, ye sinners! And while you're contemplating the evil of your ways, I defy any man to read the phrase "fractured penis" without involuntarily clenching his legs, doubling over, or putting his hands in soccer-wall position.