Kevin Martin has been tapped to become the next chairman of the Federal Communications Commissioner, a move that is already making right-wingers everywhere ecstatic -- in a G-rated sort of way, of course. But you know we're in trouble when Concerned Women for America, aka the Uptight Ladies Brigade or Concerned Women Against Everything, say they love him because of "his strong track record of decency enforcement."
For instance, here is what Marin thinks about the titilating 2004 Super Bowl pseudo-controversy.
Although the FCC ended up fining CBS' parent Viacom $550,000 for airing the fleeting moment, Martin wanted to go further and have the commission investigate the entire gyrating halftime program, which he felt was too crude. Additionally, last month while speaking at a telecommunications summit, Martin embraced the notion that cable television and satellite radio, which will soon play home to Howard Stern, should be policed the same way over-the-air radio and television broadcasts are.First of all, keep your mitts off cable and satellite radio-- we pay extra to be able to hear dirty words, thoughts and see dirty deeds. So it's really none of your beeswax considering that we opt-in to have it come into our homes, therefore the responsibility lies with us, not you.
Second of all, Mr. Martin, you're only 38. That is far too young to be so uptight. Perhaps you need a little late night skinomax or some quality time with Tony Soprano. If you'd like, you can send an e-mail to the new FCC chair and congratulate him on his new job.