Demagogue

Eugene points us to the I-Can't-Believe-He-Said-That-With-A-Straight-Face quote of the week, namely Karl Rove's "This is one of the most intellectually gifted presidents we've had." (I'm assuming Rove is talking about his boss; I haven't got the stomach to go look at the whole article).

That got me to thinking: Sure, this is obviously preposterous (even "above average" would be hard to defend, but "one of the most intellectually gifted" among a 40-person group that includes both Adamses, both Roosevelts, Wilson, Lincoln, Jefferson, and Madison is just risible); but is there some subgroup of presidents in which Dubya does shine intellectually?

I'm not having a lot of luck so far.

He's not one of the most intellectually gifted presidents named Bush we've ever had. Whatever else I think about his father, Dubya is pretty clearly second out of two in this category.

How about presidents named George? I think there are only three: Dubya, Poppy, and Mr. Cherry Tree. I'd say Dubya gets the bronze medal here.

How about those whose father was also president? Our Commander-in-Chief finishes second (and last) to J. Q. Adams in this race. Not that JQA was such a great president; like his father, his greatest accomplishments were outside his years as chief executive. But in terms of intellectual gifts, it's really no contest between the Adams the younger and Bush the younger.

Maybe we can expand the category to include presidents who are related to other presidents. Besides Adams pere et fils (not looking too good so far) and Poppy, there are Teddy R. and FDR, who were distant cousins, and Tippecanoe and Benjamin Harrison, IIRC. I don't know that much about the Harrisons, and William Henry was president for only a month or so in any case, which makes it harder to judge. On the other hand, he did win the Battle of Tippecanoe and also a battle in the War of 1812 against the English and the great Indian leader Tecumseh, pretty much wiping out the Indian resistance in the Ohio Valley, so maybe he had some brains. Benjamin Harrison turned a federal budget surplus inherited from his Democratic predecessor into a deficit within two years--maybe a preincarnation of Dubya? I make our current leader at best sixth of eight, and more probably seventh or eighth.

Hmm. Any other ideas?

• He can't be among the most intellectually gifted Republicans, what with Lincoln, TR, and, less impressively, his daddy out there.
• Texans (even faux Texans)? Well, even if we don't count his father, LBJ was smarter than Dubya. (Again, I'm not saying he was especially admirable, or a good president; but he was smarter).
• Ex-Confederate States? That adds President of Princeton Wilson and Carter to LBJ and George I, which doesn't really enhance Dubya's standing much.
• Elected without a plurality of the popular vote? Nope: J. Q. Adams pretty much wipes out his hopes there, even if Hayes wasn't the sharpest tool in the shed (he thought that when he ended Reconstruction, the GOP would build a "new Republican Party" in the South that would be supported by white businessmen and conservatives, which did happen--after a century of solid Democratic control throughout the entire region).
• Re-elected in a year ending in '04? This is a very tough category, with the other contestants being Jefferson and TR.
• Elected in '00? There's Jefferson again, plus the soon-to-be-assassinated McKinley (with TR as Veep)--another whose administration bears some parallels to Dubya's, but his proficiency as a Congressman with tax policy and legal acumen suggest that Mr. Operation Cuban Freedom (1898) was a bit cleverer than Mr. Operation Iraqi Freedom (2003-?).
• Elected with a running mate named Dick? I've heard some interesting taped interviews with Eisenhower, and though he's not often thought of as an intellectual giant, I think he was brighter than Dubya; he was certainly more thoughtful and (much) more accomplished. So far as higher education goes, he was president of Columbia University and finished 61st out of 164 in his class at West Point. How that compares to being a legacy at Yale and a cronyist admission to Harvard Business School is hard to judge.

Can someone help me here? I've been able to come up with some classes of one in which there's no one more intellectually gifted than Dubya. For instance: presidents named George W. Bush; presidents who are now in office; etc. But beyond that, I'm stumped.